As someone who’s experienced repeat pregnancy losses. I can attest that it’s a hard subject to broach, or attempt to comfort someone. Especially if you’ve never experienced it first hand. My husband has a hard time consoling me or even talking about it with me, so I often feel alone about it, and just try to cope.
There is a new line of empathy cards that may at least help you to relate and share your condolences.
These pregnancy loss sympathy cards were created by Jessica Zucker, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist that specializes in pregnancy loss and who also experienced a miscarriage at 16 weeks.
Zucker works with people who primarily have struggled to get pregnant, or suffered from miscarriages and stillbirths, or have lost infants. She says about the cards: “This is a way to reach people who, of course, I’ll never see in my office,” according to BuzzFeed Life.
Zucker created the line of pregnancy loss sympathy cards after noticing a lack of cards that relate to miscarriage and pregnancy loss, and it’s a hard subject to relate to and discuss with someone who’s experienced it.
“A lot of the cards out there refer so much to angels and heaven and things like that,” said Zucker. “For the majority of the people I know, that doesn’t really resonate with them.”
Some of these cards are great for touching the lives of a loved one who’s experienced pregnancy loss.
Or if you don’t know where to start a conversation with someone who’s had a miscarriage.
Even if you’ve experienced pregnancy loss, everyone’s story is different.
“Part of my aim here is really to make an indelible mark in the cultural conversation — or lack thereof” said Zucker.
“Some of the cards are just simple and gentle. Others say it like it is in a way that might turn some people off — and for some people, might really nail it.”
Another card lets you know that grief is experienced differently by each person, but we each must do what we need to, to get through it.
“We need to have various ways to reach different types of people in their different types of loss,” said Zucker. “A lot of women don’t necessarily have an experience of ongoing grief, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t change their experience of pregnancy in the future, or motherhood right now, or their identity.”
One card focuses on those who are pregnant again after experiencing pregnancy loss, as it can be a scary thing – there’s always that fear that it could happen again.
Zucker got pregnant again about 4 months after her miscarriage and this is what she had to say about it:
“I made the pregnancy after pregnancy loss card because a lot of people talk about this, and I experienced this, too. I was incredibly scared for the entire pregnancy.”
Zucker currently has a 6 year old son, and 20 month old daughter.
There’s also another card for announcing stillbirths and newborn loss. Giving a way for people to share their loss with those who knew they were expecting, and were as excited as they were.
According to the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) : Approximately 1 in 160 deliveries in the United States ends in stillbirth.
“I’m hoping my children and generations to come can live in a society where talking about loss and grief and these types of normative life-altering events could be something that they’re comfortable with.”
A photo posted by Jessica Zucker, Ph.D. (@ihadamiscarriage) on